“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Many people will go through life without ever encountering their Spirit. They will not be tempted to explore or inquire into their Spiritual nature. They will not hear its calling. Many will not ever discuss their spirituality with others or find people who share their beliefs on the way the universe works and our role as humans in this universe. For many people, this leads to them believing they aren’t spiritual at all, and that there’s no real purpose to their life. Beyond feeling purposeless, they can feel isolated, confused, and spiritually unfulfilled.
This was my feeling for a long time. Although I have always been a spiritually “curious” person, and have for years studied different religions and spiritual traditions, I often went through periods of spiritual disbelief and disillusionment. Despite being raised in organized religion, attending mass and parochial school, and being surrounded by other people who shared my family’s belief system, I never felt as though I had a spiritual home. For a long time, although I searched, I could not find a religion or place of worship that mirrored my own beliefs and it led to me feeling disengaged with my own spiritual discernment process. Because we live in a society that is either very secular or very dogmatic in its spiritual options, there isn’t a great opportunity to find people who express their non-traditional spiritual beliefs with others in an open and safe way.
I share this story to help you see that if you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. It is often a solitary experience – the journey toward one’s Self. But it does not have to be lonely. Spirituality is not religion. It is a very personal relationship and experience with the Divine, as unique as each person on this earth is. It is not through organized religion that such people find fulfillment. Rather, it is found through their own internal journey inward – toward a relationship with their Spirit. Spiritual coaching is a way that you can find companionship and guidance on this very individualized path.
The Three Births
Before I explain what spiritual coaching is, I want to give some context of what a Spiritual journey means for us in our lives. Each of us goes through three “births” in this lifetime – the birth of our biological self (our body), of our social self (Jung would call this our Persona), and of our spiritual self (our higher purpose and our relationship with the Divine). In our first birth, we learn how to survive and use this earthly body. In our second birth, we learn how to contribute to and be part of society. We develop our “persona” – the personality we present to the world that is not our true nature but a reflection of it. It is an adaptation developed greatly by the familial and social environment that raised us. It is during these first two births that we develop our understanding of the world and how to survive in it. But it isn’t until we begin our third birth – of the Spirit – that we understand our higher purpose in life – the calling of our Spirit. This often happens after we establish ourselves in our career or vocation, maybe find a partnership and for many, become a parent. We have learned to care for ourselves and others and to contribute to society, but there’s still something missing – there’s still a voice calling to us to keep searching, to come closer.
This is the calling toward our third birth – our Spiritual birth. However, most of us do not recognize the signs of this new journey we are being called to go on. We believe we are doing something wrong and just haven’t completed our second journey properly. We reassess and start looking for other things outside of ourselves to satisfy this emptiness. We may overidentify with our job or overindulge in the pleasures of food, alcohol, or sex. Perhaps we believe we just need more money or more adventure, or a different partner, or fewer responsibilities. We are at the beginning of our Spiritual Birth, but we don’t realize it. It doesn’t feel good – this seeking feels endless and fruitless. It feels hungry and needy. It feels like we are doing something wrong. It may be initiated by a life crisis – a Dark Night of the soul. Eckart Tolle describes the dark night of the soul as “a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. We feel lost, scared, and hopeless. This is the beginning of our Third Birth.
For me, though I had experienced spiritual awakenings throughout my life, it was at the height of my drinking habit that I had become blind to my own inner Spirit. I had found myself in my own Dark Night. My journey to change my drinking habit was an internal journey, as it is for everyone. It was a spiritual and emotional awakening that came from looking deeply, honestly, and compassionately at the ways my waking life had become unaligned with my values. Once I had done the work to free myself from the drinking habit, I gained back mental clarity and physical health, but it was my relationship with my spirituality that underwent the greatest transformation. When I began on the journey to change my drinking, I did not know I was being called by my Spirit. I didn’t even really know I needed to change my drinking. But something deep within me was guiding this desire for change. This is what I mean by a “calling” to your third birth. It wasn’t until I could overcome this great obstacle that I was able to come into a new relationship with my Spirit.
What is Spiritual Coaching?
I hope this helps set the stage for understanding why a person seeks out spiritual coaching. You do not have to share a certain set of beliefs; the important thing is you want to better understand yourself and the direction you’re going in life. You have maybe found yourself in this Dark Night and realize you need guidance to find your way out. That is where spiritual coaching comes in. A spiritual coach is person with which you can talk openly about your inner journey toward meaning and purpose. You can explore your spiritual beliefs and questions without concern about being judged, debated with, or made to change your mind. Spiritual coaching can help you better understand these feelings of aimlessness, lack of purpose, and unalignment with your values and vision for your life. You might work with your coach on clarifying your spiritual beliefs, develop spiritual practices that align with those beliefs, and integrate your spirituality into your daily life in a meaningful and fulfilling way. Spiritual coaching can help you resolve conflicts between your values and behaviors in life. A coach can help provide solace and guidance during a time of uncertainty and change. Importantly, spiritual coaching can help you when you’re feeling stuck – by helping you see your mental and emotional blocks, the ways you undermine yourself, that keep you from moving forward and creating change in your life.
Spiritual coaching builds on the foundational work of life coaching but can take you deeper into areas not traditionally discussed in that realm. It goes beyond setting goals, identifying unhelpful thoughts, and overcoming unwanted habits. You and your spiritual coach will discuss and identify practices to help you:
- Design a more purposeful life through routine Spiritual practices
- Strengthen and follow the voice of your intuition
- Reacquaint yourself with your Spirit
- Heal spiritual wounds
- Encounter and integrate your Shadow
- Investigate archetypical themes that arise in your life, and
- Understand the powerful role you play in the unfolding of your own story
Spiritual coaches ask questions that help you get closer to your truth. In this regard, spiritual coaching is a discernment process that helps you get out of your intellectual mind and listen deeply into your voice of intuition. This is because the answers are already inside of you. A coach is simply a companion, holding up a light to illuminate your own path as you take each step closer to your true self.
“A spiritual life coach is a coach that helps you change your life by changing the way you operate on a deeper level. Rather than just examining your behaviors, habits, and goals, they delve into your deep rooted beliefs, your connection to the divine, and find yourself again…Working with a spiritual life coach can reveal your life purpose to you and help you clear out any energetic blocks to living the life that you were always meant to live.” Life Coach Spotter
If this resonates with you – if you find yourself feeling drawn to an experience that would help you answer some of these questions for yourself – then spiritual coaching may be the next step for you. It’s important to do some searching, research the options out there, and talk directly with a few coaches to see if you connect with them. Most coaches offer a free consultation where you can ask them questions and learn about their approach to coaching. There are various forms of training and certifications that spiritual coaches have, though there is no universal accreditation requirement. As you know yourself, there is no singular path toward Spiritual awareness and awakening. The important thing to look for is a coach who has the combination of lived experience, passion to help others, and training that helps them develop skills and professionalism in guiding others toward their Spirit.
If you’d like to learn more about the coaching I offer, you set up your consultation by clicking the button below. I would love to talk with you more about the kind of guidance and support you are looking for and tell you about my approach to spiritual coaching.